Your Ceremony, your way!

Your wedding day is one of the most exciting moments in your life. It’s an opportunity to tell your partner what they mean to you, celebrate your relationship and share a really special moment with the people you love the most (or most of them anyway.) It’s also a legal commitment to sharing your lives together.

By where to start?

Most couples haven’t been married ebfore (and haven’t necessarily attended that many weddings either!) so it’s completely normal to be unsure about what to include verses what to leave out.

The good news is that in NZ we have lots of flexibility when it comes to creating your wedding ceremony. You don’t have to follow a particular script or stick to tradition just because that’s what everyone else does. And that’s exactly why I offer a range of wedding packages to suit different couples, expectations and budgets.

So, what do you actually NEED to get married in NZ?

Getting married in Aotearoa is pretty straight forward but you do need:

1.     A registered marriage celebrant – hopefully that’s ME!

2.     A marriage licence – which you apply for online from Births, Deaths and Marriages

3.     Two witnesses – people who can witness your marriage whether they be close friends, parents or even complete strangers!

4.     A legal declaration – you’ll each need to make a declaration in front of your celebrant and witnesses stating your full name and your intention to marry.

That’s it! Simple really.

Of course, most couples want a little more than just ticking the legal boxes. You want to celebrate your relationship, share some laughs and perhaps shed a few happy tears creating a ceremony that is as unique as your love story.

That’s where I come in! 95% of the ceremonies I do are personalised, written from scratch over a good playlist and occasionally a glass of wine. I bring together your story, your personalities and all the little details that make your relationship yours.

So, what could you include in your ceremony?

When I first meet with couples it’s often the first time you’ve really sat down and thought about what you want your ceremonyt o look and feel like. Our first conversation is a bit of a job interview where I ask lots of questions to get to know you both and the feel you want from your wedding ceremony. Don’t worry there’s no psychometric testing afterwards and of course it’s your opportunity to ask me lots of questions too!

Our initial chat is usually a starting point and nothing is set in stone straight away. Many couples change their minds along the way as they figure our what feels right for them and that’s perfectly normal and perfectly okay!

Here’s a few things you might like to consider (or leave our entirely):

1.    Your love story

This is your chance to share a little on how you met, those first impressions and perhaps a few funny moments along the way.

Maybe it started with a swipe on Tinder, a chance meeting over some RM Williams boots at Longroom or a workplace romance. Whatever your story, it’s a lovely way to give your guests a glimpse into your relationship.

And don’t worry if your story isn’t particularly romantic or glamorous – sometimes the best moments are the most unexpected!

2.    Your engagement story

I LOVE this part! This is where I get to share the story of your proposal. Where did it happen? Was it over the dining room table, in the carpark of Palmers (true story!) or on a remote beach or mountain?

Were there any mishaps along the way? (Often there are). Did one of you know it was coming or was it a total shock and surprise?

Your engagement story is a wonderful moment to reflect on what led to your wedding and whether it include a few laughs, a few tears it’s your chance to relive that very special moment!

3.    Readings

Readings can be a beautiful addition to your ceremony but their inclusion is totally up to you (my Husband and I didn’t have one!)

They can be from a religious text, favourite song lyrics, a poem or even some words of wisdom from Winnie the Pooh!

This is a lovely way to involve someone special in your ceremony. Perhaps it’s a Mum, a good friend or another family member who’d like to share something meaningful. Otherwise I can always read it on your behalf.

4.    Your children or pets

If you’ve got children, this is a really special moment to celebrate the joining of your family. They could be ring bearers, do a reading, take part in a special moment or even help sign your wedding paperwork.

And what about your other child? Many couples love the idea of having their dog involved assuming your venue allows it. I’m yet to see anyone include their beloved cat but perhaps it’s because they can be a little less reliable!

5.    Your vows

Most couples I marry choose to exchange personal vows.  This is your opportunity to share what you love about each other and to exchange promises for your future together.

Your vows don’t need to be grand, sweeping statements or sound like they’ve from a Hollywood Romcom. They just need to be authentic to you.

Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most. Perhaps you love that your partner always makes you a coffee in the morning, lets you sleep in on a Sunday or knows exactly when you need a hug the most.

Start making a note of these moments now, whether it’s on the back of an envelope, a scrap piece of paper or on your phone. These little observations often become the best starting points for writing your vows (or even your wedding speech).

If writing isn’t your thing that’s what I’m here for! I can help you write, edit or brainstorm your vows if you wish. If you something more traditional I can even put it together for you – the choice is yours!

6.    Anything extra

This is your moment to include something a bit extra. Do you want to light a memorial candle, plant a tree, break plates or even take a shot of Jager at the alter? All of these are possibilities (and I’ve actually done) if it’s important to you let’s make it happen!

You might want to consider if there’s something culturally significant to you or your family that you’d like to incorporate too. Traditions, rituals and personal touches can make your ceremony even more meaningful!

It’s your wedding!

Getting married is about the two of you! Of course it’s lovely to get advice from your mum, best friend or person down the road. Most people are genuinely trying to help and have your best interests at heart, but that doesn’t mean you have to take every suggestion on board.

You don’t need to include something just because it’s traditional, someone else did it or a family member thinkgs it’s a great idea.

You’re about to start a new chapter with the person you love, so let’s make sure your ceremony reflects the two of you. If something isn’t to your taste, it’s perfectly okay to politely say ‘no thanks.’

My job is to help create a ceremony that feels comfortable, meaningful and most importantly, is completely YOU!

Happy planning!

Jenn x